When I hit bottom in my descent through the hell of addiction and mental illness, I did what many modern spiritual seekers do — I turned to the god of Google, typing in the search bar “Inpatient Dual Diagnosis Treatment Centers.” In less desperate times, I carefully peruse several entries, note sources, and examine websites. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so I called the number at the top of the screen. A gentle voice poured forth —

“Hello, this is Chris. How can I help?

I shared some of my pain and suffering, summarizing over 40 years of struggle that had led me to a life or death cliff.

“Tony, you are not alone. I’m here to help.”

Chris guided me to an Inpatient facility in Western Massachusetts. Within 24 hours, a car was in my driveway to take me the three hours through the wooded wilderness of Upstate New York to a place designed to help people like me struggling with an addiction and a mental health diagnosis to take the first step toward sobriety, sanity, and serenity.

My second day at that facility I had visitors. It was Chris and he brought along a friend — Mattie. If the Roman Catholic Church accepted nominations for patron saints of recovery, I would submit Mattie’s name. Mattie listened intently. Barely spoke. I did find out he was the owner of Empower Health Group, a dual diagnosis rehab in Northampton, Massachusetts. Chris gave me a phone number and said if I ever needed more help, they would take care of me.

Within 17 days, I desperately needed more help. My trust had been violated. My condition had deteriorated. I hadn’t slept for days. I asked the case manager to call Empower. In no time, I spoke to Nate who reassured me they would accept me into the program and I could start immediately. Nate’s warm and welcoming baritone voice reassured me that I would be okay, that things would get better. A few hours later I arrived. Nate did my intake and ordered me groceries. Bryan, an alumni director, gave me a firm handshake. Jonathan, who would become my therapist, brought me pizza. Nate then gave me a tour of the two-story office space. When we got to the top of the stairs, he gestured to the treatment rooms and said, “This is where the magic happens.”

Over the next 100 days or so, one day at a time, I would meet the wounded healers who served Empower as staff magicians. The people who poured out their hearts to bring hope to those with troubled minds — a chance to choose abundant life over miserable death dealing ways.

Shelby and her canine companion Vinny. Shelby makes things happen night and day with compassionate consideration. Jody, who attends to group process and family dynamics with a bloodhound’s nose for codependency. Later came Kibbie, a master chef who serves up comfort foods from scratch. Emily, a model of serenity who maintains the ability to exercise tough love. Will, willing to tackle things behind the scenes. And recently two of my best friends in recovery — Tim, a brilliant spiritual mentor who has been like a brother to me, and Kyle, like a son, who masterfully chauffeurs people in the Empower van and sets a quiet example of devotion to sobriety.

A final word about Mattie. Mattie is 33 years old, a heroin addict in recovery for over a dozen years who humbly points out he relapsed over 50 times before he was willing to surrender to God, his Higher Power, and do the work necessary to maintain sobriety, sanity, and serenity. Mattie’s methods seem mad to many — he is ruthless in his pursuit of recovery and desperately wants that for everyone. He is at his best when assembling a top-notch team of wounded healers and empowering them to do their jobs. The sky’s the limit for Empower, but they could also self-implode tomorrow if they are not daily vigilant to their recovering identity and mission.

I am now an Empower alum, class of Feb 2025. I now offer service and pray daily that everyone impacted by their spiritual mission would be liberated to live in love. Empower Health Group, where the powerless would receive the power to heal.

On this episode of Revealing Voices, we feature contributors to Hope for Troubled Minds.

Born in Kentucky, Janet Coburn now lives in Ohio with her husband of over 40 years, Dan Reily. She also lives with bipolar 2 disorder. Janet loves reading and country music. Dan loves gardening and archaeology. Together they love travel, science fiction, and cats (they have two at the moment, Toby and Dushenka). A graduate of Cornell University and the University of Dayton, Janet writes two blogs, bipolarme.blog and butidigress.blog, which she posts in every Sunday. She often contributes articles on mental health to The Mighty website. Janet has also written two books on bipolar disorder, Bipolar Me and Bipolar Us, which are based on her decades of experience with the disorder, and frequently answers questions about mental health on Quora.

Jay Tapscott is a poet, author, and also a Peer Specialist dealing with schizoaffective disorder and working in an inpatient psychiatric unit where he was once a patient in Philadelphia. There, he models wellness as he visibly coexists with his psychiatric condition in that setting seeking to offer hope and encouragement by doing so.

Kevin “Earleybird” Earley is a mental health advocate and hip hop producer. His father Pete Earley is a Pulitzer Prize nominated investigative journalist. Kevin is also co-producer and sound editor of Revealing Voices.

Technical producer Kevin Earleybird Earley is our guest host for this episode of Revealing Voices. He interviews fellow creative and long time friend Substantial.

Prince George’s County, Maryland-born MC, producer, artist, and educator, Substantial, debuted in 2000 collaborating with the late Japanese producer Nujabes, who later worked on the popular show Samurai Champloo. Legendary rapper and activist, Chuck D of Public Enemy referred to Substantial as “One of the great MCs of our time.” His soulful and introspective brand of Hip Hop music has received critical acclaim from Ebony.com, The Source Magazine, HipHopDX, DJBooth.net, and Okayplayer.com. His music videos have appeared on MTV, VH1, and BET.

Substantial has performed in nearly 20 countries and has collaborated with artists such as Kool Herc, L Universe better known as Verbal (M-Flo), Oddisee, and more. Substantial has licensed music to major brands such as Ford Motor Company, Bentley Motors, and UBER and also had his music featured in films and television shows such as Kevin Hart’s Laugh at My Pain, Kill Me 3 Times starring Simon Pegg, Daytime Emmy nominated show Tough Love and it’s spin-off series Pillow Talk. Substantial has appeared in the documentaries, Freestyle: The Art of Rhyme and Give Back. He has also written and performed original songs for games such as PUBG Mobile, Mobile Legends Bang Bang, Arknights, Tree of Savior, and Renaine. Substantial is also a two-time Hollywood Music in Media Award nominee.

Earleybird and Substantial discuss taking a leap of faith, challenges for mental healthcare in minority communities, and the inspiration of music and the creative process.

Judge Tim Fall is a California native who changed his major three times, colleges four times, and took six years to get his bachelor’s degree in a subject he’s never been called upon to use professionally. He’s been a trial court judge since 1995 and has taught judicial ethics to California judges for twenty years. Tim was in private civil practice for a little over seven years before taking the bench and had not seen the penal code since law school. He’s a quick study though (see the above comment about taking six years to get a four-year degree).

Tim writes and speaks about being a judge with a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and seeks to remove the stigma of seeking treatment for mental illness. His mental health memoir Running for Judge: Campaigning on the Trail of Despair, Deliverance, and Overwhelming Success (Wipf and Stock, 2020) is available in print, as well as from Audible and Kindle.

Reflecting on his pastoral career and work as a mental health minister, Tony shares what it is like to be a wounded healer with a bipolar thorn in his flesh.