When I hit bottom in my descent through the hell of addiction and mental illness, I did what many modern spiritual seekers do — I turned to the god of Google, typing in the search bar “Inpatient Dual Diagnosis Treatment Centers.” In less desperate times, I carefully peruse several entries, note sources, and examine websites. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so I called the number at the top of the screen. A gentle voice poured forth —

“Hello, this is Chris. How can I help?

I shared some of my pain and suffering, summarizing over 40 years of struggle that had led me to a life or death cliff.

“Tony, you are not alone. I’m here to help.”

Chris guided me to an Inpatient facility in Western Massachusetts. Within 24 hours, a car was in my driveway to take me the three hours through the wooded wilderness of Upstate New York to a place designed to help people like me struggling with an addiction and a mental health diagnosis to take the first step toward sobriety, sanity, and serenity.

My second day at that facility I had visitors. It was Chris and he brought along a friend — Mattie. If the Roman Catholic Church accepted nominations for patron saints of recovery, I would submit Mattie’s name. Mattie listened intently. Barely spoke. I did find out he was the owner of Empower Health Group, a dual diagnosis rehab in Northampton, Massachusetts. Chris gave me a phone number and said if I ever needed more help, they would take care of me.

Within 17 days, I desperately needed more help. My trust had been violated. My condition had deteriorated. I hadn’t slept for days. I asked the case manager to call Empower. In no time, I spoke to Nate who reassured me they would accept me into the program and I could start immediately. Nate’s warm and welcoming baritone voice reassured me that I would be okay, that things would get better. A few hours later I arrived. Nate did my intake and ordered me groceries. Bryan, an alumni director, gave me a firm handshake. Jonathan, who would become my therapist, brought me pizza. Nate then gave me a tour of the two-story office space. When we got to the top of the stairs, he gestured to the treatment rooms and said, “This is where the magic happens.”

Over the next 100 days or so, one day at a time, I would meet the wounded healers who served Empower as staff magicians. The people who poured out their hearts to bring hope to those with troubled minds — a chance to choose abundant life over miserable death dealing ways.

Shelby and her canine companion Vinny. Shelby makes things happen night and day with compassionate consideration. Jody, who attends to group process and family dynamics with a bloodhound’s nose for codependency. Later came Kibbie, a master chef who serves up comfort foods from scratch. Emily, a model of serenity who maintains the ability to exercise tough love. Will, willing to tackle things behind the scenes. And recently two of my best friends in recovery — Tim, a brilliant spiritual mentor who has been like a brother to me, and Kyle, like a son, who masterfully chauffeurs people in the Empower van and sets a quiet example of devotion to sobriety.

A final word about Mattie. Mattie is 33 years old, a heroin addict in recovery for over a dozen years who humbly points out he relapsed over 50 times before he was willing to surrender to God, his Higher Power, and do the work necessary to maintain sobriety, sanity, and serenity. Mattie’s methods seem mad to many — he is ruthless in his pursuit of recovery and desperately wants that for everyone. He is at his best when assembling a top-notch team of wounded healers and empowering them to do their jobs. The sky’s the limit for Empower, but they could also self-implode tomorrow if they are not daily vigilant to their recovering identity and mission.

I am now an Empower alum, class of Feb 2025. I now offer service and pray daily that everyone impacted by their spiritual mission would be liberated to live in love. Empower Health Group, where the powerless would receive the power to heal.

Theme music —
A Variation on “The Lords Prayer”(2003) Original music and vocal by Omnös. The song is on the album “Anakainosis”. Free d/l @ omnos.bandcamp.com
About the Author
After graduating from Louisville Presbyterian Seminary (LPTS), Tony served over 18 years in pastoral ministry while battling bipolar disorder. He now is a Mental Health Minister serving as Chief Shepherd for Delight in Disorder Ministries. He has written two books — Delight in Disorder and When Despair Meets Delight.

One comment on “Episode 74 – Healing Story 01 – Empowered to Heal

  1. Daniel Staub says:

    Great to hear that voice. Wow! What a walk down memory lane. Reminded me of my own days in Amherst, Massachusetts. Inspired to make sure I write down the details so I can maintain gratitude. This is powerful memoir, imo, and a blessed tribute to the crew who scraped you off the road when Your Higher Power heard you make the call for help. Thanks for creating this content. 😇

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