poetry

HAIKAST XIV – Origin Story

I recently went on a search for my earliest recorded haiku from what I shall call the “Opening Era”.  That era began with the death of my last grandparent, Amos Harlan Rippy. After his funeral on the hillside cemetery in Tell City, Indiana in 2013, I felt a commitment with an origin outside of myself to dive into my feelings and express them poetically.  

Rippy and Rip were the common nicknames for my grandfather, who was called “Pop” by my siblings and me. The last name of Rippy is Irish in origin. We have records dating back to the late 1700s when the Rippy family immigrated from Ireland to Orange County, North Carolina. 

Upon his death, having had 2 daughters, his surname was now locked in time as my middle name, Eric Rippy Riddle, and further honored as my son’s middle name.

While it is impossible to say the nature of the poetic calling upon my life, I do think the passing of his generation summoned in me a need to bring definition into my own emerging adulthood. Perhaps the subtle influence of the Irish ancestry beckoned an articulation of the poetic impulse. I began to call the art flowing out of me, “Openings.”

I had dabbled in poetry for years, always seeking to capture the emotions of important moments or diving into the depths of predicaments that I found myself bound. First, in the form of rhyming couplets and then in free flowing gifts to my first wife, inspired by the style of Beat generation author, Jack Kerouac.  

It never really occurred to me that I was in the minority of people who choose to use language in this way.  As one compelled to write on occasions of heightened awareness, desire, or emotional resonance, it seemed only natural that much of humanity would be ushered into the same necessity of poetic expression. That is not the case.

The longer form poetry that I was accustomed to writing became more difficult to conjure as I grew older. With adult responsibilities, even when I did feel the inspiration, I rarely had the time to capture the moment. I needed to lower my expectations to reignite my creative output. I chose haiku.

I began writing a daily haiku with a commitment to maintain the practice for a year. I started a Google Drive document that I could easily type on my phone. My formal haiku writing journey began on September 9, 2016.

However, in my recent research mission into writing “openings” following the death of my grandfather, I found scattered haiku that started in May 2014. 

The occasion of the first haiku was a trip that I took with my then 7-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter to Red River Gorge in Kentucky. It was our first big trip together, just the 3 of us. I had started camping with friends in this part of Kentucky a few years prior and instantly found it to be one of my “happy places”.  

The Red River on the day of our kayak trip was shallow. On many occasions, my kayak would bottom out. Under the much lighter weight of the kids, they even had to get out at times and drag their kayaks on the meandering stream. It wasn’t until we got to the jumping rock that we hit deep water.  

That day, at that rock, became one of those moments that I knew would last forever in my memory. It holds the joy of a hot day in the growing late spring where droves of rock jumpers and observers on the beaches huddled around a deep watering hole. Jumpers waited as kayakers like the kids and me passed through. We decided to stay. My daughter found a nice spot on the beach in view of the jumping rock. 

My son wanted to jump.  He and I climbed to the top, feeling the communal anxiety of the 40 ft drop. Many grown adults waited as others stepped to the edge, stalled with apprehension. After watching many take the leap, my son and I made our way to the spot. We joined hands, but then he wanted me to go first. I had to wrestle my own fears to take the leap, trusting he would come after me.  

And then there I was, submerged, the water deep enough to not even tickle my toes. I came to the surface and stretched out my arms. With no hesitation, Isaac jumped. My son’s youth, alive with the thrill of gravity plunging him under water for a moment. People cheered us on for his courage.

Later in the day, we camped for the first time together as a family. My daughter led the effort to build a roaring campfire on the edge of a large field, where we watched that same river winding its way past our tent. I taught the kids all the basics of camp life, profoundly grateful that I could spend this time with them, aware that I may be initiating a new tradition in our family.  

That evening, as the stars basked in a clear sky, the hot embers were ready for smores. We gathered all the needed supplies and reveled in that glorious delight best reserved for moments such as this.

Haiku moments may serve as emotional images, memorable markers along life’s journey. I am thankful that my 2 original haiku capture the essence of that lovely day back in 2014. It was good to enjoy such a sweet opening and experience of fatherhood with my two beautiful children.

Water kayak you
Rock jump into waiting arms
Eight mile memory

She ate half the smore
Dark Chocolate and cracker
Marshmallow for dad

HAIKAST VII – Opening

My basement stairs now have the “Rips Room” letters that I, Eric Rippy Riddle, inherited from my grandfather, Amos Harlen Rippy. The letters hung in the same formation from his home in Tell City, IN throughout my young life.  It is an honor to walk down my stairs and remember the familiar walk down my grandparents basement steps. 

My grandfather was a quiet man.  Growing up, the things that I most identified with my grandfather were:

  • His stable presence in all of my big life’s moments

  • He worked most of his life at the Tell City Chair Company

  • He owned a golf cart at his local course and played all the time

  • He absolutely loved St. Louis Cardinals baseball

  • He was responsible for hanging the witty sayings and announcements with the black plastic letters on the church sign

  • He stopped smoking in the early 1980s when I asked him why he smoked (I have little recollection of this, but it was often stated at family gatherings)

  • He was in the Air Force in World War 2

The family called him “Pop”.  His friend’s called him “Rip.”

In 2013, Pop was my last grandparent to die.  I was close to all 4 of my grandparents, but Pop’s quiet nature was overshadowed by my grandmother who showered love, attention, and lots of cookies on me. His quiet presence was one of solidarity, but not as much what I would call intimacy. It felt like there was something that I didn’t know about him and wasn’ sure how to find out.

The funny thing is that I did not cry at the funerals of my other grandparents. I also did not speak at those funerals. I did both the day Pop was buried.

His funeral is easily the most memorable for me.  I remember standing on the cemetery hillside, listening to the playing of Taps and getting an overwhelming feeling of what I can only describe as being opened.  I was compelled to begin writing poetry that I described as “openings”.  I wrote this after Pop’s funeral: 

Today, Pop was buried
Next to my mother’s mother
Sunny, windy on top of Tell City
My son watched the old man fold the flag
Red, White, Blue described
I stood in the tent, feeling an opening
A generation is gone
My mom, dad, aunt, and uncle said their goodbye
At the church, I took the Kleenex
And mumbled through 8 tissues
I said death is a myth
and my grandfather is alive

Pop lived 68 years after he flew over Tokyo in 1945.  It took me until 2022 to realize that my grandfather was part of Operation Meetinghouse. The air raids over Tokyo on March 9th and 10th in 1945 are considered the deadliest air raid in human history.  With a firestorm that killed nearly 100,000 people, the napalm burned a quarter of Tokyo to the ground.  While the atomic bombs get the attention, it was the Operation Meetinghouse air raid that my grandfather participated in that took the most human life.

His generation fought the most lethal war in human history. Pop embodied the conflict that horrifies and amazes all who study that time in human history.  I can not imagine the psychological anguish – whether felt or stuffed into his unconscious that he must have experienced. I wish I could have known more and spoken to him about that time in his life.  

I wept the day I pieced together the dates of Operation Meetinghouse with what my brother had discovered in Pop’s journals. While it did not feel like a family secret, this realization was an unearthing of family history that has been life altering to me. It feels like a lost treasure with a key that could only truly be opened by talking to Pop. I think part of my emotional reaction is not being able to talk to him about the experience. I am not sure how this has shaped me or how this knowledge will play a role in my life.  It is real and painful and unforgettable.  When he died, and I felt opened, maybe it was a way of passing on a desire for my generation to be reconcilers in a world prone to war.

This deeper understanding of Pop’s Air Force service has drawn me closer to him since his passing. When I think of Tom Brokaw’s book, “The Greatest Generation,” I remember my grandfather. I’m thankful that I have lived in relative peace, compared to the world he inherited when he was in his early 20’s and Pearl Harbor put his generation instantly on the path to the deadliest war in human history. Whether soldiers died, like some of his friends, or soldiers survived by dropping bombs on the enemy, I count both as sacrifices. I understand his quiet demeanor more.  

Following the war, he thankfully was able to serve the rest of his life in the peaceful town of Tell City, IN. The stability he provided to our family after his service in World War 2 laid a foundation of success for my mother that has since passed down to my generation and my children.     

Before Pop passed, his first grandson was born – Isaac Rippy Riddle.  I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to honor my grandfather by passing on his family name. May Isaac, like his great grandfather, grow to humbly serve, seeking reconciliation in a complicated world.

Grandfather’s silence
Grieving great fire of World War
Nineteen forty five

The Plight of Lady Manic (a poem by Katie Dale)

“Listen,” she said. “Hear me,” she whispered.

Voices in her head validated what she heard.

Even with proven logic she was stirred,

The possibilities were too great to have deferred.

 

Tangible in spirit, angels gathered near,

And the devils followed them there, itching to hear.

The reality of the unseen wasn’t something to fear,

It was the lust for the untouchable hurdles she wanted to clear.

 

Lady Manic, she was known, to the shrewd and cunning Mister.

Sir Madness, her unmatched suitor, he wouldn’t resist her.

She played to his schemes, his subtle plans enthralled her.

Soon, according to Sir Madness, only he could call her.

 

Flirting with the master of irresistible temptations,

She laid open to twirling thoughts and tantalizing elations.

Like a phantom of her mind’s secret infatuations,

She succumbed to be found in questionable situations.

 

Once he lifted her too high, she panicked at the height,

She braved the quickening sensations amidst the fright.

At first glance it was glee in anyone’s unwitting sight,

Until it was too late to do anything but fall from the flight.

 

Perhaps she was naive, overzealous and of youth,

Perhaps he was too masterful for her mind to tell the truth.

 

Whichever way it was, it was now in hindsight error,

The affection they once shared was now a twisted terror.

 

Should she be prey to his next violent plan,

She couldn’t save herself, no one could, not any man.

 

The step after delight could be more than insanity,

The logical plan to follow was the bane of humanity:

 

Depths of loathing and sorrow crawled out from the pit of Hell,

In shrouds of darkness they came moaning, cleverly casted like a spell.

 

This misery appeared inevitable to keep her from her Lord’s Heaven,

It seemed the day turned into night without her knowing when.

For nights came for days and try as she might will then,

No amount of pulling by her bootstraps would let her go again.

 

Now the words fled her mind and mouth where joy once filled,

Meaning evaded her spirit, whose strength none could rebuild.

Confusion mounted its cavalry and crafted artillery from its guild,

Here the war on her psyche ambushed, her sanity, all but killed.

 

Abandoned by her guide to the skies and traitor to the pit,

She remembered her chance given before so again she sought it.

 

In the lion’s lair she knew who else had gone ahead,

The sacrifice that died to pay the ransom on her head.

She surged her strength to call upon the name of Him once dead,

“Give me my life, You paid my price, redeem my life instead!”

 

The only One who was there for her from birth swiftly came,

The test was passed and she could leave the dungeon of her shame.

Alas Sir Madness could not call on her, he had no viable claim,

Since all along she was betrothed to the Lord of Lords: Jesus, was His name.

 

Victory crowned Him, from overcoming Sir Madness and his lies,

Lady Manic was no longer known as Manic but as Wise.

The deception that once bewitched her could no longer rise,

Since she set her sights on nothing but her truthful Savior’s eyes.

 

“Listen,” she said. “Hear Him,” she whispered.

Voices left her head and love was all she heard.

The sound of her heart was true of the passion that was stirred,

Each beat was hope fulfilled and was no longer deferred.

Out of the Silence, Like Prayers

Today we recorded our first interview! April (Tony’s sister) and Jen (my wife) joined Tony and me in our new studio- made official with the addition of a new IKEA conference table. The recording sounds excellent.  We had a scare after taking an intermission, but thanks to power of the “Undo”, recovered the recording.

Earlier in the week, Tony and I decided that the standard question we will ask all guests is “What does healing mean to you?”  The question worked really well today and generated great discussion that rippled throughout the interview.  I’m really satisfied with that question because it is a strong connecting point between faith and mental healthcare communities.  From my perspective, the faith and mental healthcare communities are the primary healing elements of society.  A goal of the podcast is to help bridge the conflict and misunderstanding that exists between these two areas. Read More