Season 8

Episode 75 – Healing Story 02 – From a Dead Kernel Comes an Abundant Harvest

In this episode, Tony and Eric explore the season of Lent and the reason for Easter hope. Lent is a time to let go obstacles for physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing in order to make room for new life at Easter. This dynamic of letting go and making room is true for people of all faiths, and no formal faith connection at all. Jesus offers all a living hope for abundant life beyond death.
 
Tony shares this story —
 

In my faith, Easter is a season of renewal, resurrection, new life. Jesus said unless a kernel of wheat dies, there can be no harvest. If we allow things to pass away, however, we can embrace abundance beyond measure.

 
Easier said than done. No one wants to let something or someone they care about die. We cling to addictions to feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that may once have served a purpose but now stunt our growth or even lead to our destruction.
 
As a child, I experienced trauma in my life. This aggravated a genetic mental disorder. This could have been very disruptive. But I was encouraged by family, teachers, and coaches, to pursue athletic prowess and  scholastic achievements. I became addicted to success and recognition. But I couldn’t get enough.
 
After being humbled in college, I turned to alcohol, nicotine , and marijuana. Some call this self medicating To quote my good buddy Steve Franz, it’s really dying by suicide in a manner deemed acceptable by society. I didn’t die physically, but these death-dealing ways did great damage to me in many ways and I hurt others as well.
 
I quit consuming substances to raise a family but I didn’t tackle to root issue of the God-sized hole in my soul. For over 30 years I was a dry drunk — self-absorbed, self-righteous, self-destructive. When my life finally became unmanageable from things I couldn’t handle I turned back to the bottle. Soon I was in the valley of the shadow of death and saw no way out.
 
But God showed me the Way. A friend in recovery sent me a caring text. Are you tired? Hungry? Depressed? Angry? Christ reached out to me at my lowest point and, by God’s grace, I reached back and held on tight. That was August 19, 2024. I have now been sober, sane, and serene for over 9 months now and I’m still counting each day, moment by moment.
 
This Easter I celebrate the hope of renewed clarity, restored relationships, reconciliation with God. The Resurrection of Christ was not some incredible, irrational, inaccessible, one time miracle. God promises that all who believe and receive the Spirit of Christ have the hope of abundant life now and forever.
 
Can you believe it? Will you receive it?
 
To God be the glory. Now and forever. Amen.
 
Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/cross-crucifix-jesus-crucifixion-1979473/

Episode 74 – Healing Story 01 – Empowered to Heal

When I hit bottom in my descent through the hell of addiction and mental illness, I did what many modern spiritual seekers do — I turned to the god of Google, typing in the search bar “Inpatient Dual Diagnosis Treatment Centers.” In less desperate times, I carefully peruse several entries, note sources, and examine websites. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so I called the number at the top of the screen. A gentle voice poured forth —

“Hello, this is Chris. How can I help?

I shared some of my pain and suffering, summarizing over 40 years of struggle that had led me to a life or death cliff.

“Tony, you are not alone. I’m here to help.”

Chris guided me to an Inpatient facility in Western Massachusetts. Within 24 hours, a car was in my driveway to take me the three hours through the wooded wilderness of Upstate New York to a place designed to help people like me struggling with an addiction and a mental health diagnosis to take the first step toward sobriety, sanity, and serenity.

My second day at that facility I had visitors. It was Chris and he brought along a friend — Mattie. If the Roman Catholic Church accepted nominations for patron saints of recovery, I would submit Mattie’s name. Mattie listened intently. Barely spoke. I did find out he was the owner of Empower Health Group, a dual diagnosis rehab in Northampton, Massachusetts. Chris gave me a phone number and said if I ever needed more help, they would take care of me.

Within 17 days, I desperately needed more help. My trust had been violated. My condition had deteriorated. I hadn’t slept for days. I asked the case manager to call Empower. In no time, I spoke to Nate who reassured me they would accept me into the program and I could start immediately. Nate’s warm and welcoming baritone voice reassured me that I would be okay, that things would get better. A few hours later I arrived. Nate did my intake and ordered me groceries. Bryan, an alumni director, gave me a firm handshake. Jonathan, who would become my therapist, brought me pizza. Nate then gave me a tour of the two-story office space. When we got to the top of the stairs, he gestured to the treatment rooms and said, “This is where the magic happens.”

Over the next 100 days or so, one day at a time, I would meet the wounded healers who served Empower as staff magicians. The people who poured out their hearts to bring hope to those with troubled minds — a chance to choose abundant life over miserable death dealing ways.

Shelby and her canine companion Vinny. Shelby makes things happen night and day with compassionate consideration. Jody, who attends to group process and family dynamics with a bloodhound’s nose for codependency. Later came Kibbie, a master chef who serves up comfort foods from scratch. Emily, a model of serenity who maintains the ability to exercise tough love. Will, willing to tackle things behind the scenes. And recently two of my best friends in recovery — Tim, a brilliant spiritual mentor who has been like a brother to me, and Kyle, like a son, who masterfully chauffeurs people in the Empower van and sets a quiet example of devotion to sobriety.

A final word about Mattie. Mattie is 33 years old, a heroin addict in recovery for over a dozen years who humbly points out he relapsed over 50 times before he was willing to surrender to God, his Higher Power, and do the work necessary to maintain sobriety, sanity, and serenity. Mattie’s methods seem mad to many — he is ruthless in his pursuit of recovery and desperately wants that for everyone. He is at his best when assembling a top-notch team of wounded healers and empowering them to do their jobs. The sky’s the limit for Empower, but they could also self-implode tomorrow if they are not daily vigilant to their recovering identity and mission.

I am now an Empower alum, class of Feb 2025. I now offer service and pray daily that everyone impacted by their spiritual mission would be liberated to live in love. Empower Health Group, where the powerless would receive the power to heal.

Theme music —
A Variation on “The Lords Prayer”(2003) Original music and vocal by Omnös. The song is on the album “Anakainosis”. Free d/l @ omnos.bandcamp.com

Episode 73 – Celebrating 7 Years!

On this episode, Tony returns from Sabbatical to discuss his journey from the chaotic waters of addiction, insanity, and spiritual disease to a life of daily recovery — sober, sane, and serene.
 
Eric shares his inspiration for a new book — 575 Gardens. The book will contain haiku and life reflections written over the past decade.
 
Tony and Eric then provide a sneak peek of the upcoming season 8 of Revealing Voices (March 1 marks our 7 year anniversary). In addition to Eric’s occasional Haikasts, Tony will record “Healing Stories” about the people, places, and things that have contributed to his abundant life in dual diagnosis recovery.