Haikasts

HAIKAST IV – Going Green

I love spring and love moseying around my yard, marvelling at the flowers popping through the mulch and the abundance of – are they pink, magenta, maybe even purple – or simply, redbud tree blossoms. There’s so much to be thankful for.

That being said, please take a few minutes with me to consider the suppression of this beauty.  The culprit is grass.

It’s mid-April and I just mowed for the first time this year. Thankfully, over the last 5 years, I have slowly transitioned the lawn into mulched flower beds and raised vegetable beds – drastically cutting the square footage of space for my human powered, reel lawn mower. It may not be the cleanest cut, but it’s pollution free and a good workout. 

There are empty lawn lots across this country. Much of it is public space, maintained by the city or state.  There are some immaculate lawns full of fertilizer, herbicide, and perfectly mown lines – my favorite are the diagonal strips that make X’s. Like a baseball field ready for the World Series.  But I’m not talking about the outfield of the St. Louis Cardinals.

You may not realize where these lots are in your city because they are so incredibly unremarkable.  The purpose of these spaces is to keep the grass from getting too tall to not get a complaint.  They are the kind of places that no one cares much about, so they are rarely used.  

The funny thing is that they don’t serve much of a human purpose, but we, as humans, can’t help ourselves from mowing the spaces every week to literally kill any chance of other living things from finding a reliable food source and safe shelter. If non-human life do risk taking up residence, they’ll probably get killed by a mower blade or someone who decided that the dandelions simply cast too yellow a glow on the turf.  

CNN reported in April 2022 that in Palm Springs, California, it takes 63,000 gallons of water per year to maintain the green in a 1,500 square foot yard. That’s not even a big yard.

I could go on with stats from various sources about the immense cost of maintaining a yard – Business Insider magazine reported in 2016 that Americans spend more than $30 billion/year on maintaining their yards.  Some reporters describe lawn as the largest “cash crop” in the United States because of that expense.  Not cash for the homeowners who spend hours and dollars to – it is very odd to say – “raise grass”, but cash for the companies that perpetuate the need for these great green monoculture carpets.  

What is the benefit of this cash crop?  

I think it has a lot to do with control, senseless social norms, and the fear of wilderness.  

A couple years ago, my friend and I approached the Columbus, IN city airport about the possibility of adding native plant space to the AirPark.  We identified an acre of space between the Columbus Community Garden and a nearby subdivision.  Thankfully, the AirPark Director saw the vision of creating habitat using native plants in the space that was the type of mow over zone I’ve been describing.  The Director understands that maintaining the grass is expensive and takes up the labor time of his staff.

I had no experience in converting grass to a native plant meadow, so I followed the suggestion of our local Sycamore Land Trust. We began with spraying the field with Roundup 2 times over the course of 4 months. In February, we broadcast 40 different native plant seed varieties across the area and let it grow until July.  In July, it was moved to about an 8 inch height to knock down the weeds and give more light to the germinating seed.  

Over Thanksgiving weekend, I went out into the field and did a 360 video of the space to send to my friend at the Land Trust. He was happy with the growth in the first year.  

I brought to the field a large bin of harvested seed heads from my home. I added this seed to the edge near the bench we dedicated to my friend, Chelsea. It is exciting to have an acre that is growing wild in our city. I’ll do my best to protect the space from the temptations of turning it back into lawn. I know nature will throw flowers in the air where I had thrown down my seed. A colorful magic trick.   

On Easter weekend, I walked the perimeter. It’s early in the season and there is hope already beginning to buzz across the acre.  The city’s garden plots, just steps away, will be planted soon. The enhanced pollinator life in the field holds great promise in producing more bountiful yields for the gardeners.  

It’s good to go a little wild.  Caring for the environment is not about outcompeting your neighbor for the greenest lawn. It’s more about making a little more room for life and creating ecological landscapes that thrive with diversity.  

Walking acre edge
Fall’s brown lingers, spring’s green shows
What grows next, who knows?

 

HAIKAST III – Synchronicity

What are your thoughts on the cliche – “The universe is trying to talk to you?”

Humans run a wide range in the coincidence through divine intervention spectrum. The Universe talking to you falls somewhere closer to the divine intervention side. Living the majority of my life as a Christian who relies on research to guide my decision making, I have been trained to respectfully listen to this entire spectrum of perspectives without rolling my eyes. So I appreciate the Biblical call to pray without ceasing, but I also appreciate the cause and effect nature of reality.

I find that isolation is one of the many effects and causes of mental health struggles. I think part of that isolation is a desire to pause life, figure out how to stop having symptoms, and then play again once the struggle is over.

During physical sickness, that pause for me is often grabbing a 2 liter of sprite, a few cans of chicken noodle soup, crackers, and some Tylenol, and hanging on the couch for a couple days to recover. After the temperature is normal and the fatigue lifts, I press play and am ready to get back to work.

Society allows the time out and generally accepts that getting back to normal is a routine part of getting sick. We are expected to isolate and get well. There’s even a growing use of the term “presenteeism” – which relates to the issues caused by working while sick and the negative impacts it can have on getting others sick. Since the pandemic, presenteeism is being addressed by encouraging more self care before getting back to work.

Mental health struggles don’t often work the same way. Symptoms don’t reliably go away in 48 hours – sometimes they may hang round for 48 days or 48 months.

During a recent struggle with feelings of isolation, I went to a mental health support group called Faithful Friends. We ate together and decided to play a game called Mad Gab. The game focuses on trying to unscramble three lines of words that sound like nonsense, but can be phonetically aligned into a common saying. For example, try to figure this one out:

Key
Pure Rye
Sonnet

I will say again, a little faster:

Key
Pure Rye
Sonnet

The answer is:

Keep your eyes on it.

At the Faithful Friends meeting, this was one of the Mad Gabs:

Yule
Nut Bar
Hawk Howl Own

Did you figure it out? Here it is again:

Yule
Nut Bar
Hawk Howl Own

The answer to this one is:

You’ll never walk alone.

The 8 of us in the room played the game for a joyous 2 hours. One of my friends in attendance said he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled that much.

He is a music aficionado. He related the “You’ll Never Walk Alone” gab to a song by the same name from the 1940s. As he talked, it occurred to me that lyrics from the song are passionately chanted at Liverpool’s Premier League Soccer matches. We listened to the Liverpool crowd singalong that is included in the Pink Floyd song called “Fearless.” We then read the lyrics from the original Rodgers and Hammerstein 1945 musical Carousel. The chorus is:

Walk on, Walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

The conversations that percolated around this song were very fortifying..

The next evening, I began reading The Antropocene Reviewed, a book by John Green. The first chapter is titled “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Ha! I instantly sent a message to my music aficionado friend. He and I may share mental health diagnoses that bring feelings of isolation at times, but we also know the joy of rediscovering how connected we really are.

Physical recovery and mental health recovery are very different. In one, we are expected to isolate. In the other, we need to be encouraged to join a community of acceptance. We may not think that the universe ever talks to us, but we need to know that there are plenty of others who will.

Synchronicity
“You’ll Never Walk Alone” song
Appears twice this week

HAIKAST II – Magical Words

Do you ever feel like you are in the need of some elusive, magical words to resolve a situation?

I know I do.

That feeling often comes when I am convinced that there are no words designed to communicate my heartfelt intention.

I don’t mean to make that sound like a bad thing.

Biblically speaking, this feeling is summed up by the classic Romans 8:26 verse: “…. the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”

Words are tools of communication. There are times when words, like a prayer of great conviction, have broken through doubt, depression, or confusion to steady me. But there are times when words are not enough… When words are not the right tools for the job.

I’ve spent most of my life thinking that words should be able to solve any problem. That there are magical words that strike the anvil of reconciliation and wield a power to make everything better. I’ve found this to not be true.

In a similar vein, in my personal thought life, I get caught in cycles of wondering what words I can tell myself that will alleviate mental anguish.

When I have persistent negative feelings, my thoughts are a nebulous mass of words. It is a duel of irrationally created words wrapped in strong emotions being countered by my forced, internal, rational responses.

I have learned that words spoken or thought can not make feelings go away.

For loved ones with years of familiarity with me and genuine care for my mental well being, the same hopes for word solutions may be equally dashed. That is ok.

My wife and I have talked about the magical words. Beyond dealing with mental health alleviation, we also want magical words to gain relief from grieving death, finding forgiveness with friends, resolving cultural conflicts that never seem to cease. The desire for such magic goes on and on.

We all have situations in our lives that we want to go away AND we want them to go away by our commitment to finding the solution. It’s not that we want to evade, forget, or defer responsibility, we want to do the work and use the words and make the plan and have it all fixed.

I want magical words that conquer bipolar illness. To read the top 10 tips and execute them expertly. To hear the prayer, believe the hope, and feel the healing. To remember my therapist’s words the last time I turned the corner and do it once again, to stand firm in the encouragement of my friends. That has all helped in the past. But maybe the magic is not working today.

There are days when words are not what I need. Acknowledging that can actually be the beginning of the relief.

It is a funny sort of liberation to give up on words. The groaning of the Spirit may simply be a matter of breathing through the anxiety, feeling the crisp winter air at the edge of my nostrils. Deep breathing. Completely emptying my lungs. Groaning.

Or watching my cats nestled together on the couch, giving me the slow blink before nodding back off. They have no words for me, but they are communicating something worth considering. It is ok to rest. It is ok to just find the warmth of another for some time. Cats don’t need magic.

Deferring to that spiritual state of groaning doesn’t need to be a last resort. I would do well to think of it as a solid first option anytime I begin wrestling with words.

My wife is much better than me at knowing when to give up on attempting the magic tricks. I thank her for those times when we are beyond wordcraft.

Toe touch, shoulder nook
Her body language pep talk
Warmth without the words

HAIKAST I – Arts & Crafts

Welcome to the Revealing Voices Haikast series with Eric Riddle serving as our guest poet. Eric is co-founder of Revealing Voices who redirected his avocation to environmental stewardship about a year ago. I have invited Eric to blend his spiritual art with his passion for mental health advocacy here on the program. He writes:

“I’m thankful for the opportunity to read them in the style of Senryu – combining prose with haiku to provide context and explain the significance of the haiku moments in my life. Each Haikast starts with a narrative or contemplation and ends with a traditional 5 syllable / 7 syllable / 5 syllable haiku. My hope is that the haikasts will inspire your own reflections and search for beauty in the miraculous and the mundane.”

We hope to have Eric’s Senryu on Revealing Voices monthly.